How to Cure a Cold

Sundays are always beseiged by little Devil gremlins around my house. They simply don't appear on other mornings, and I haven't found their hiding places, though I suspect there's one in every room. The alarm doesn't always go off on Sunday mornings, and I know I wind and set that little Baby Ben every night. I've never had a zipper break except on Sunday, or poked my thumb through my last pair of pantyhose except when trying to get dressed for church. I suppose that I shouldn't have been surprised when my throat started feeling scratchy as I sat in the choir loft this past Sunday.
At least I didn't sneeze during the service, while we were being videoed. The silent Rhino virus was well at work by the middle of the afternoon, and I just had to face the impending misery. It had started snowing big time, but nothing was sticking, so when it slowed to a halt, I sent Norm out for cold remedies. Luckily, we are very close to town. In fact, some Saturday mornings he wakes up feeling like Tarzan, and wants to go out and gettum our breakfast. He strikes out to buy one Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Croissant, one Plain Egg Croissant, one small French Toast Sticks and one medium Tater Tots, and returns in less than 10 minutes. So, I don't feel too badly about sending him to the drug store five minutes from here.
There on the kitchen bar I lined up my Airborne tablets, Mucinex, Tylenol, Riccola Cough Drops, Vicks Vaporub and green tea bags. Somehow I put soup and sandwiches on the table, but my heart was not in it. By nightfall, I am wrapped up in quilts like a doodle bug thoroughly medicated and thoroughly miserable. Eight times out of ten, I get bronchitis with a cold, and I am allergic to so many antibiotics that I really do hate to catch one.. Meantime, ole Norm is not feeling so hot, himself. His knees are arthritic, so I am worried about him, too. He's complaining of a dull pain in his right side. We had this discussion: "One of us has to stay well so we can take care of the one who's not!". It's not funny, but we laughed, anyway.
Monday, I awakened to discover the Rhino had his big foot on my chest, or, at least it felt that way until I got up and hacked and coughed and spit til I felt some relief. Norm's had a rough night, too, so we tried to figure out what to do about him. He called his regular doctor, who was out of the office on Mondays. He had an appt Tuesday with a new orthopedic man he hadn't seen before, so I figured he might at least get some relief with his arthritis. The other pain we didn't understand. I almost got dressed, but my housecoat is so warm and cozy, I just pulled some corduroy trousers up underneath it and kept my legs warm. I continued with my OTC meds and added stewed prunes. Norm's appetite is poor and he is running a low grade fever. He's looking around for pain medication.
This morning, Norm had his appt with his bone man, and he shot some good stuff in both knees, which I hope will help. This Doctor advised him to get in touch with his regular Doctor about the pain in the side. Unbelievably, I was feeling some better this morning, so while he was gone I actually ran the vaccum and tidied up a bit. After our lunch, Norm called to try to get an appointment with his regular Doctor. No luck--no afternoon office hours! So, first thing in the morning, Norm's going over to his office and park himself in his waiting room until he has to see him. He's always been so healthy, and this depresses him. Tarzan hates getting older. He keeps saying, "I never thought I'd be like this--I'm not worth a damn!"
Oh, my dear, you are so wrong! Somehow, I am going to put my miserable cold on hold and devote my time to getting you better! I've never had a 3 day cold before, but that's all the time I can allow for this one. God willing, I'll be the one that's well enough to take care of the one that's not!